55 - God hates us all - part 1..

"Born u were
certified u were
bookstores are for 'us'
free was the word for u
donations they asked 'us'
scholarships they gave u
IITs/NITs were a dream for 'us'
they were just some institutes for u
u too deserve
but when will they realise that
there are people who deserve more than u......"

DRDO is coming for placement to my college.. rather many public sector companies are coming for that matter.. NTPC is comin.. IOCL came and went off with a bunch.. there are basically 2 criteria for all these companies..
1. U have to be in the top 10..
2. Or u have to be in the top 2 of ur caste(SC/ST/OBC)..

all these candidates will be directly interviewed and selected based on performance.. although the usual trend is to take only the toppers.. when exceptional performance in the interview takes place..they might bend a little from their "so called" rule..
the funny thing is that they CONTRADICT themselves very badly.. the 2nd criteria doesnt necessarily match with the first criteria always.. the top 10 usually consists mostly of general candidates.. there are deserving candidates who even wont be interviewed in the first place whereas an indeserving candidate might be working at that company next year.. this policy of the indian public sector companies should stop.. either interview only the top 10 or interview all..
As a frustrated general candidate, i would like to say that "man..we have crossed through all these hardships.. u keep on increasing the quota.. decreasing our chances.. still we fight back.. how long do u expect us to be fighting.. ever heard of the word equality.. justice dude.. justice.."

P.S: u can check out my other 55s by clickin on 55 in the labels..
P.P.S: part 2 is gonna be dirty and filthy.. n it will be regarding the title..
P.P.P.S: check this piece of shit.. even if recession cant change them.. i dunno what will..
P.P.P.P.S: yugratna has been very inspiring.. u can chk this n this.. also this

change is constant..

well.. u guys did it.. u made me change.. first i received an award from bharathi sir.. i dont know what he felt wen i didnt put his award on ma blog.. then a shower from avada kadavra.. still in dilemma.. then hari gives me 1 too.. now this made me to seriously think.. am not a good writer.. but still 4 awards.. i hate these awards as they resemble some kind of fakeness.. but its like a tradition in blogosphere.. but i feel that the pple who hav given it might hav given it whole heartedly n without any fakeness.. if it is so.. then am happy to accept these awards.. i'l put them on ma site very soon.. even though am not gonna pass the same awards.. i hav something different in my mind.. i hav created my own award as many bloggers do to represent some kinda genuinity in the award.. so the plan is..

i will dedicate my posts to the pple who inspired me to write that post.. and they can take the award from my site n put it on theirs if they want to.. no compulsion to put it on the site.. this way every1 shd be happy.. this is the award that i created..

NOTE:
1. i think the image is self explanatory.. plz dont temme to explain it..
2. the background image has been cheaply copied from the death magnetic album cover of metallica(i know tht metallica wont sue me for plagiarism)
3. i think i hav already dedicated 2 of ma posts to bharathi and rajesh(juju).. if they wish to, they can take this award and put it on their sites..
4. i'll try to change the award then and there so that different bloggers can hav diff awards from me..
5. this award will be present on my right sidebar..

peter pan

Yet another slang word used in chennai and in tamilnadu.. the word is "PETER".. this post has been put up on the request of a fellow blogger.. i have a difficult task at hand trying to explain such a different concept.. here's my try..

ORIGIN:
Even god wont know about the beginnings of this concept.. yet am pretty sure that this started after the first english speaking person entered tamilnadu..

WHY THE NAME PETER??
A possible explanation would be this story..
The first englishman has entered tamilnadu.. he being lost asks the fellow tamilians nearby for directions in english.. since the tamilians didnt understand even a single word of what he spoke they told him to speak in an understandable language.. the englishman thought that they were asking his name and so he duly replied "peter".. more confusion had happened and peter left the place not getting an answer.. one of the tamilians there was a thatha(old aged person) and he told this story to his grandson.. the grandson quickly grasped that peter was a guy who spoke a very complicated language that no one could understand.. n so he passed on this valuable information to the next generation.. since then the "PETER" concept has evolved..

THE EVOLVED "PETER CONCEPT":

Other than your mother tongue, U can say someone to be peter if he/she talks in a very pompous or grandiloquent or bombastic or inflated language.. got me?? no?? then lemme give u examples..

If some one says "A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of small, green, biophytic plant" instead of "A ROLLING STONE GATEHRS NO MOSS"..then u have the full right to call him/her peter..

i think this one should convince u fully..

"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

A piece of dialogue from the movie "V for Vendetta"..

The reaction to this dialogue from evey was "Are u like a crazy person?"

Following the footsteps of evey i conclude by saying that all "peter's" are crazy persons..

P.S: I dedicate this post to juju..
P.P.S: Since this post has already bcum lenghty.. i'll put up more examples in the next post..

be spectacled..

now there are 2 members of ma family who are spectacled right now.. yes.. ma sister joined ma dad n got glasses.. she has a -1 on the left eye.. even though i feel am good in science.. i always get confused with myopia n hypermetropia.. which corresponds to a positive power n which to negative power is always a big question in ma mind.. now b4 i wiki.. lemme guess.. i know tht young pple in general if they get an eye defect it is usually concerned in seeing only the far off objects.. so its myopia which means power is negative as ma sis got it.. i think am rite..

there is a small story here.. ma sis was complaining to my dad tht she wasnt able to see with the left eye from the 9th grade(she is in 10th grade rite nw..) but owing to the vetti scene or stylish nature of ma sis(ma sis thinks specs make u look more beautiful.. dunno which birdie told her this lil secret..), ma dad thot tht she was jus bluffing.. wen ma dad went to repair his glasses this time.. ma sis got checked n eventually ordered some stylish glasses for 1000 bucks which i think are costly..

neways wen ma dad had called to inform tht she had got her glasses.. the following conversation:

dad: do u have any eye problem.. better go and check ur eye..
me: no way..neeyum un ponnum dan ore madiri(u and ur daughter are only similar)..
dad: (lol)

there is this affinity for any dad to shower "more" love for her daughter than his son n for any mom to shower "more" love on her son.. this kinda exists in many families including mine.. please note the word "more".. it is always the dad's baby girl and the mama's boy.. this is a weird concept n this exists in families with a son and a daughter.. this weird affinity puzzles me a lot n continues to puzzle me..

neways.. here's a snap of the cute devil..

 

P.S: it was ma mom's bday yesterday.. so this post is dedicated to ma family..

me the genius

i have discovered 2 methods of tackling 2 very common but different problems.. i have listed the problem and the solution below:

1. mosquito killer:

Q: what do u do when a mosquito has jus landed on the exposed part of ur body??

A: the normal person would straight away raise his/her hand trying to squish the mosquito the very instant he/she sees it.. but just count the number of times u hav succeeded.. i say the probability is very low.. so when u spot the mosquito, just observe it carefully to find out whether it has already started sucking blood.. if it has.. now is the time.. give a big whaaaam.. or else.. jus wait a few secs for it to settle down n then whaam.. the mosquito always escapes wen it has not settled down..

2. tangle tangle

Q: how to keep your earphones untangled?

A: this is such an irritation.. everytime u take your earphones from ur pocket.. u find them to be tangled in the worst possible way.. but due to our high patience and our love for music.. we do the reverse tangle and start listenin to music everytime.. the solution is to tie a knot between the 2 ear plugs.. this works for me.. or better jus put it tangled while puttin into ur pocket..am sure ur rough trip shd do the reverse tangle inside your pocket.. solution 2 is still under research..

P.S: am even plannin to get 2 US patents for these.. and i wont share it with anyone..:)

P.P.S: y is it that only US grant patents??..even though the definition of a patent states tht it can be granted by any national government.. hmmm..

sad but true

stumbled upon 2 blog posts on marriages..

here they are..

1. rakhi
2. dowry

i highly recommend the readers to read the 2 posts.. but since laziness is a factor that rules us.. i will give a jist..

the first one is sort of a tragic comedy.. the girl ties rakhi to the guy during the ages of 6-10.. their parents get transferred.. since both their parents are friends.. the concerned pple know tht the other exists but still they dont know each other personally.. they both met while workin for the same company.. the love angel hits the arrows.. now their parents are not acceptin their marriages owing to the reason tht she had tied rakhi.. and the fact tht he is her brother..

can u believe this.. how do parents keep on inventing new reasons against love??
y cant they see the fact tht they r gonna be family from friends?? highly ridiculous..

the second one is a bunch of incidents before marriages.. 2 of them revolve around the dowry system.. even though dowry is gettin reduced these days.. it still exists in the rural parts of india.. it hasnt been totally abolished.. dowry is more common in arranged marriages.. a system of marriage which even researchers feel to be a fairly good system(courtesy: big bang theory).. owing to this point alone..i feel love marriages are better..

am blank.. jus sharing the above 2 blog posts..

P.S: i jus hope that the 2 blog authors pay me up for their publicity..lol..

to give or not to give - that is the question

GIFTS:

these continue to puzzle me all the time.. first of all i need to know y pple give gifts on birthdays??

is it gratitude?? social networking?? is it a symbol of love??

i hate gifts for 4 reasons:

1. the decision of wat to give as a gift..

2. the amount of money to be spent on it..

3. the answer to the question whether we have given the proper gift

4. my philosophy

my philosophy:

i always portray gifts as evil.. the reason is that this whole gift giving tradition contradicts to the very definition of friendship or love.. for a long lasting friendship or love.. there shdnt be any expectations between the 2 persons involved.. on your bday.technically speakin.. u shdnt be expectin anythin other than love.. coz best friends hav this understandin n it need not be conveyed through a stupid non living thing or crazy living thing(pet animals).. wenever pple give me a gift.. i feel like they r saying

"u totally forgot about me"

"hey.. am ur friend too"

"hope u like the gift n induct me into the hall of best friends"

only acquaintances need to give gifts..best friends need not do that..

i hav my best friends bday comin up in 2 days.. the gang has gifted me with 2 gifts under his compulsion.. so the obvious question.. shd i give him a gift or not.. looks like i will have to break ma rules..

birthdays, GPLs,gifts- too complicated

birthdays:

sept,oct, nov- these are birthday months.. n if u r one of those who has a large gang of friends..u better have a big wallet too.. dunno y the newly weds find these months to be the perfect tyme to fuck?? neways.. our gang here consists of the persons coming from perfect middle class families in india.. next time someone asks you about the powerful spending middle class of india.. u better point your hands to the gang here in raipur.. although we r totally misplaced.. we do take our chances.. it all starts with a GPL.. will explain wat gpl is.. n then a birthday cake worth 600 bugs.. the bday boy has only the job of cuttin the cake.. we stuff the first pieces in his mouth n face.. n then its just an eagle's job of scavenging on whats left.. since its gonna be a big cake.. every1 gets a piece.. in the evening, we jus go to a big hotel.. order watever is there on the menu.. eat like anythin.. the bday boy pays how much ever he can n the rest of us share the remainin bill.. forgot to tell you that we also play a game.. its called"guess the bill".. the person whose estimate is closest to the bill correctly gets a dairy milk.. although the person never got the dairy milk.. most of the times we dont give gifts.. birthdays to us means enjoyment n i like this culture of ours to the fullest..

GPL:

Full form: Gaand Pe Laath

Translation: Kick In The Ass

Rules:

there arent any..

Modifications:

1. hittin with shoes or studs on..

2. hittin with ur hands.. mind u this hurts more..

3. roommates,hostel mates or rather any1 can get gpl other than the bday boy..

Remarks:

1. no matter how good of a hitter u r.. u can never hit the ass perfectly.. u'll always hit the back portion

2. if u think u can..refer to point no.1..

a small thing has been botherin me.. jus imagine the situation..

the time is 12.. the venue is a boys hostel.. around 30 pple hav formed a circle around the bdya boy after he was caught.. few pple have gone to call the others too.. the guys surroundin the bday boy are all the best friends of the bday boy who havent wished him yet.. there is a limit to their patience.. suddenly one fellow comes from nowhere n hugs the bday boy n wishes him.. well i just fuckin hate these pple.. if there is one rule to gpl on birthdays then it is this..

"wishes come after GPL.." n thts a rule.. if u guys need a proof for this rule then go n see the dictionary..

think i'll explain about gifts in the next post.. coz i have a dilemma..

55 - the thing u shd not see

"its just another usual day

but an unusual sight

is it real or is it fake

nods his head in all directions

he just saw

what he should not see

a lot of questions

running through his mind

finally decides that its just

a good guy gone bad or mad.."

P.S: this is just an incident that happened around me.. i think even the pple around me wont figure out what this is..

confessions of a dangerous mind

I'm feelin like a douche..2 reasons for y am feelin like this..

1.i forgot to vote for some1 in blog-a-tonic.. how pathetic am i.. even though u guys wont accept any lame excuses.. as a normal human being am supposed to give some excuses..
(i) i suck at decision making.. i somehow shortlisted it to 4 pple.. n then couldnt decide.. wen i procrastinated,i totally forgot abt it..
(ii) even if i had remembered.. i couldnt differentiate between ma fellow bloggers.. all r one and the same for me..lol..
am happy tht i participated and received all ur comments.. an applause to the winners IP n GOVIND..

2. the incident that happened yesterday..

as many would be knowing, the CAT forms were released a day b4 yesterday.. since we didnt want to die of getting squeezed by a literate crowd.. we didnt go for the first day.. went yesterday to axis bank to get the form.. there were a whole bunch of pple - the pink panthers who dont listen to pantera, the polka dot cheetahs and the ever lazy lions.. we jus got the voucher n nothin much happened there.. on the way back, the separatists got separated from the gang n came in a bus.. ma partner who is very fond of window(s) seats was enjoyin the view.. while i took 2 five rupee coins from ma pocket to get the tickets.. unfortunately each ticket cost rs.3 n the conductor asked for a 1 rupee coin.. we didnt have it..
so the conductor took advantage of the situation.. he did not give us the tickets.. instead whispered to me that "agar aayengae toh bol dena ki pichle stop mein hi chade the"..
meaning: he told to tell the ticket checking inspectors(if they come)that we got into the bus only in the previous stop.. sayin this he went to speak with the driver the next instant..
i left it there itself.. my fuckin conscience didnt prick me.. i was jus talkin with ma partner n suddenly he comes n gives us the ticket in a hurry.. before i could realise wat was going on.. another guy neatly dressed wearing tie and formals comes in n questions us..

kahan chade the (where did u get in)

pichle stop mein he (previous stop only)

jai stambh chowk mein chade nahi the kya tum log (didnt u get in at jai stambh square?)

nahi (no)

the guy asks every1 their ticket n it seems more than half of the people didnt hav their ticket.. writes some kinda complaint.. the conductor guy goes and pleads.. nothing fruitful is gonna happen for the conductor.. but a lot of fruitfulness for the country..

now ma guilty conscience is screwing me pretty bad.. is it destiny that we didnt have a single one rupee coin?? or was it a failure on ma behalf not to get a ticket from the conductor.. there is no doubt that he was corrupt.. but aint i corrupt here??

P.S: after we got down, ma partner said that the checkin inspector was travelling in the bus with us all the time.. n he thot tht he was a software professional.. wat do u know.. a checkin inspector who looks like a software pro..

P.P.S:i have never seen such strict measures so far.. not even in chennai..

P.P.P.S: being a laconic type of person.. i think this is ma longest post.. anandha kanneer..

electronic biasing

me wife: y did u even marry me??
me: my parents were forcing me n plus i needed u very badly..
me wife: y dont u pay some attention to my sister then??
me: taking care of u itself is a big achievement.. how can i pay heed to ur sister too..
me wife: she is also an integral part of me..
me: what can i do about that?? ur dad didnt tell me that it was a package deal..
me wife: u knew that it was a package deal.. didnt u?? but still u r betraying my sister..
me: ya i knew.. i love only u n i dont love your sister.. n there is nothin u can do about it..

all right u dirty minds.. this imaginary conversation is dedicated to all those who criticise me for listening to too much music on my mobile and to all those who say that i dont make calls n only send SMSs..

in case u didnt understand, all the characters are listed below:

me - obviously me..

me wife - my mobile

me wife's sister - my airtel sim card

me wife's dad - univercell showroom in chennai

P.S: dont forget to press CTRL+A after reading the post..

Teachers: Now and then

This post has been published by me on the occasion of the Teachers' Day as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 2; the second edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

I'll jus describe the 2 prototypes according to everyone's presumption:

teachers then:
"matha pitha guru deivam" is the best quote that will describe the teachers then.. they were considered as a second parent and a step above god.. the respect they deserve is unmatchable..

teachers now:
A test is being conducted. every1 in the class is copying either from the book or from some1's copy.. the concerned teacher is nowhere in sight.. suddenly he enters the classroom and says "arey yaar, halla mat karo.. HOD sir aa jayenge"
for those who dont understand hindi here is the translation "dont make noise.. HOD sir may come any minute"..
(this was a true incident)

am jus gonna argue about this presumption.. i wasnt tutored by a "teacher then".. so i really dont know hw he/she teaches.. based on the stories heard from ma parents and every1.. i too accept the axiom that "teachers then" were very loyal,dedicated and passionate.. the "teachers then" had overall development of the student as the main motive..

today.. we are unable to see the good teachers bcoz teachers such as described above mask the good teachers.. it is a human tendency to start with the negatives rather than the positives.. there are very few inspirational n dedicated teachers n all of us are not taught by those great teachers..
the reason is population explosion..
ya u heard me rite.. in the past,every teacher will tutor 10 students.. today every teacher tutors around 50 students.. the steady increase in competition and the decrease in the number of pple takin up the profession can be attributed to this.. wen there are more number of students and very less number of teachers.. whom shd we blame?? the teaching profession has therefore evolved and become very commercial.. am sure the "teachers then" would find it tough to manage the situation now..the basic flaw is in the education system..

due to this reason, i dont see why tuition centres shouldnt come?? since it has already become commercial.. y dont u make it more commercial.. but i strongly disagree to all those teachers who take the same subjects at school and at tuition.. repitition doesnt solve the problem..

n plus there is a school in chennai called the Krishnamurthy foundation india(KFI) which tries to re-create the same teaching conditions as in the past..
the teaching under the banyan tree.. they aim at overall development.. n the teacher student ratio is high.. the only problem- too expensive..

so.. as i said with money u can get the finest education.. also if u dont hav money.. n if u r the best.. u'll be tutored by the best.. this country is not devoid of good teachers.. it jus lacks good teachers.. as for the topic i dont find any difference between the teachers now and teachers then.. teachers are teachers..

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton are Vipul, Rajalakshmi, Dhiman, Ranee[1], [2], [3] , Avada, Indian Pundit, Sojo, Aneet, Pramathesh, Aativas, Sid, Pra, Ajinkya, Lakshmi, Govind, Shilpa, Bharathi, Shankar, Mytuppence, Azad, Pawan, Pankaja, Saimanohar, Guria, Shruti,Nasrajan and Richa. Click on their respective names to read their posts on Teachers : Aaj Kal. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

y men are still ahead??

the time wen the indian students were attacked in australia.. ndtv as usual conducted the group discussion on dis.. the topic was racism..

am jus gonna mention abt the incident.. the topic shifted towards gender racism..
along with kiran bedi and other top notches there was also Harita Kaur Deol.. if all u feminists are wonderin who dis is.. pity urself.. she is the first woman pilot to be inducted in the indian air force.. in 1994 wen she was inducted she was 22.. she is also the first indian women to do a solo flight ie the plane was all hers..

she made a statement tht day.. she was not allowed in rescue missions n to go beyond the indian airspace.. n she called this as gender racism..

fine i accept it as gender racism.. but she forgot to consider the other extreme case.. what if she was given permission to go for rescue missions.. what if she met with an accident or due to some technical problem, was forced to bail out of the plane.. this would hav either killed her or abandoned her somewhere else..

the very same women community and activists who are demandin their rights would hav now turned the plates saying tht the IAF has been irresponsible for letting women into dangerous missions.. blame the indian government in all the cases.. wat do u expect the government(controlled by men during tht time) to do.. nw that u hav indira gandhi and prathiba patil in the chairs.. lets c if they bring in a change..

the point is there are some things which women cant do n which men can only do.. like the example stated above due to the sheer bravery required..
likewise there are some things which men cant do n women can only do..
like child birth..
did men ever complain tht we were unable to give child birth??
let the job meant for the particular gender be done by them itself.. y do u bring in the racism thing..

as long as this racism which are in the minds of women exist.. men will always be ahead..

umm.. bloggers..

am basically an analyser.. wenever i meet new pple i judge them straight to the core.. observe their every move.. play tiny mind games with them.. see their reactions to the silly and purposeful things i do.. today i hav taken up the job of analysin a bunch of complex pple.. they are complex bcoz every1 is different n psychotic in their own ways.. am talkin abt u all(n me too).. the bloggers..

bloggers can be categorised into 2 types:
1. those who write for themselves
2. those who write for others to bring in the whole idea of sharing ur views with others thingi..

the mixed breed also exists..
the first type write abt their personal life.. it so happens tht in most cases outsiders understand very little.. therefore very few followers..

the second type combine their personal life and the things happenin around them..spice it up.. commercialise it perfectly.. well u know their blogs are the perfect bollywood movies..

no matter what.. every person.. wen u open the site blogger.com/wordpress.com and start to pen down ur thoughts.. there is this transformation in u.. many may accept this transformation.. but most deny sayin tht ma real self n the blogger self are the same.. its jus tht u dont see urself changing..
so based on this assumption rather axiom, i say every blogger has 2 faces:
1. the real face which he shows to the outside world
2. the blogger face which he shows to his fellow bloggers..

pple who are a close friend of the blogger n who also follow the blogger's blog can only see this contrast in character..
i have seen bloggers who have these 2 faces totally different..

every person is a cube.. u r jus viewin only one side of the cube(elevation).. even if u raise ur view(perspective).. u r able to see a few more sides.. there is always a hidden side.. only if u have knowledge abt all the sides, u can fully realise the cube.. (got the message rite?? a lack of words..)

any relationship is based on understanding.. let it be friendship or love.. if u dont fully understand the person u can never fully love them.. (too much deviation from topic..)

so in order to know a person more, one shd obviously follow their blog..
ended it finally..

P.S: elevation,perpective are all architectural terms.. an obvious effect of ma ex- roomie..
P.P.S: this post has been dedicated to bharathi..

55-thank you for smoking

read the following times of india news(courtesy: hari's post).. if u r too lazy to check out the link.. well in short it says..
1. more women in India are turning smokers
2. India has the third highest number of female tobacco users in the world

 well this is a very serious issue indeed.. n am not gonna talk abt it coz i hav no right to say a word(FYI: am not a smoker).. but somethin very different struck ma mind..here it goes..a 55 short story..

" a time when there is no tobacco..
  men are fed up with women
  a genius guy discovers tobacco
  decides to smoke it
  to relieve the tension
  for which women are the cause

  today women smoke more
  to convey the message
  that they are fed up with men"

P.S: it was just a joke.. but if u feel the need.. feel free to call me a gender racist..
P.P.S: men still are ahead..