the funeral..

went to a funeral on saturday after a very loooooooong tyme.. probably ma 5th funeral.. it was chandan's mom.. not much related 2 me.. but it was more of a duty sort of thing.. ma deep condolences again.. usually hate to go to funerals.. i think most pple agree with me.. i basically feel tht our generation does not have the emotional attachment tht our past generations have.. got sick of funerals way back from the 3rd std wen ma grandma passed away.. i was feelin bad abt it n i cried once.. thts it once.. but since i was a little boy.. i had to sit near mom.. ma mom used 2 cry weneva a new relative comes into d house..the worst part was.. wen i try 2 escape her clutches she used 2 grab me n den weep again badly.. man hw much senti can u get.. n every 1 used to lecture tht.. "its okie.. take care" n stuff.. i got so bored n pissed off.. i always felt.. girls cry a lot.. ma sis the biggest headache.. am not declarin girls r more senti.. further i feel boys r more emotional than girls.. but its jus boys dont often show their emotions.. or atleast we try 2 pretend tht it neva happened..
funerals here in the north (rather in raipur) were very diff than wat i expected.. first of all it was not a open cremation place.. it was a concrete structure on which dey burnt.. not much of rituals..n there is dis 1 rule tht dey didnt follow at all.. once u have a final look at the burnin body n take a turn.. u shd neva turn bck n look at it again.. since i was born in a perfect hindu family.. i know all of dis.. in case i have made any blunders in hindu tradition.. forgive me.. coz i really dont care..

"If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

And I'm singing
Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive
Amen I, Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive"
- if everyone cared(nickelback)

super over..

TIME: 12.30 AM
VENUE: Mess hall, hostel- A, NIT Raipur
ATTENDANCE: Around 40 pple..
SITUATION: The IPL match between KKR n RR 2 b decided by a super over since it was a tie.. every1 watchin d match has an xam at 8.30 in the mornin..
OBSERVATION: Passion 4 cricket n guts..

neways.. after watchin d match.. i screwed big tyme in microprocessor the next day.. the obvious thing runnin in ma mind was "to believe or not to believe.. tht is the ques.." belief in android 80 is wat am talkin abt.. proved rite once n proved wrong once.. was badly pissed off.. dunno wat i would have done without d 2 beautiful things in lyfe.. sleep n music.. think i'll pass.. so free..


"But I learned to burn that bridge and delete
Those who compete...at a level that's obsolete
Instead I warm my hands upon the flames of the flag
To recall our downfall
And the businesses that burned us all
See through the news and the views that twist reality

Enough
I call the bluff
Fuck Manifest destiny"
- bombtrack (RATM)

ANDROID 28..

since pple around me r all doin the same ol engg.. i kinda seem to get the trait here.. so i have classified engg students as follows..

android 1- typical bookworms.. studies is wat dey do.. dey talk studies walk studies eat studies.. eventually bcum 9 pointers.. little dey know tht there's a whole wide world outside.. trapped in their cocoons.. willing to be butterflies.. but cant.. coz itz hard to break ur own principles.. pity dem..

android ∞ - the bindaas guys.. dont give a damn abt nythin.. back logs r jus another branch in the tree.. njoy life to the fullest.. do wat they love to do... straight fwd pple..

well homies if u dont fall into android 1 n ∞.. dont feel.. coz we r the modern youth.. n wat we do is perfect injustice to android 1 n ∞.. we r jus a mixed breed.. we r android 0..

android 0 - wat we do is we njoy for most of the tyme..n wen its xam tyme.. its studies n nothin else.. we r envy in the eyes of android 1 n ∞.. coz we r talented n useless piece of shit..
wait.. theres more..theres a subclassification.. dis is based on the amount of marks scored in the final xam.. so here come android 28 n android 80..

android 80 - i swear these pple r jus goin 2 get killed by android 1.. i dont blame dem.. i'll surely get pissed off wen 6 months of hard work r easily achieved in 6 days.. talented idiots.. many a times its bcoz of these 80s.. 28s r denied the assistance of the 1s... free..

android 28 - 28 is a remarkable feat.. dey dont have a need to show tht dey r outstanding.. dey jus show tht even dey r still standin.. dey dont care whether its a breeze or a tornado.. as long as dey get the wind tht is needed.. dey r a cheerful bunch..

"Life is a waterfall
We're one in the river
And one again after the fall

Swimming through the void
We hear the word
We lose ourselves
But we find it all....

Cause we are the ones that want to play
Always want to go
But you never want to stay
And we are the ones that want to choose
Always want to play
But you never want to lose"
- aerials(SOAD)

P.S: i think pple around me know which android i am.. n soin couldnt resist aerials.. 80 n 28 could be changed to 100 n 36...

laconism..

had advanced electronic ckts today.. the paper was jus too lengthy n no choice.. worst format.. neways.. left 2 questions coz had no tyme.. but still have a gr8 feelin of self satisfaction.. not tht i'll pass.. the point is i finished the damn booklet.. yes the very 1 with i dunno probably 40 pages.. being the laconic type of guy.. words were always ma prob.. maybe thts the reason y i started writin blogs.. ma dad always used to tell me.. if u wished to touch ur nose.. then there r 2 ways of doin it..
1. touch it straight
2. touch it with ur hand comin round ur head..
well this was ma basic philosophy.. if u do sumthin do it straight.. suthadingapa..
so if u r plannin 2 propose 2 a gal.. do it straight... free...

"Seems like only yesterday
Life belonged to runaways
Nothing here to see, no looking back
Every sound monotone
Every color monochrome
Life began to fade into the black
Such a simple animal
Sterilized with alcohol
I could hardly feel me anymore

Desperate and meaningless
All filled up with emptiness
Felt like everything was said and done

I lay there in the dark, and I closed my eyes
You saved me the day you came alive"

- come alive(foo fighters)

grey matter...

xams r here.. am beginnin to feel ma consciousness take over me.. am tryin 2 see logic in everythin.. if its pointless.. den its useless.. thts me rite nw.. gone r the days wen i used to study lik hell..
thamarai ritely said.."parichaiyila badhil ezhdha padhi paperla nondum"
thts wat is happenenin rite nw.. i feel tht am prepared.. but nothin strikes dere.. i seem al rite wen am writin dis post.. words cum freely... but in the hall it drives me mad all rite
luks like am sufferin from selective amnesia.. maybe i shd giv it a new name.. SeGreyMaD(selective grey matter destruction).. any tips to overcum dis r welcum..

"And it feels like fear
Like I'll disappear
Gets so hard to steer
Yet I go on
Do we need debate
When it seems too late
Like I bleed but wait
Like nothing's wrong"
- lift (potf)

digression...

have noticed sumthin particular among ma frnds.. wen u r jus havin the usual vetti non stop non sense with ur frnds.. every1 always tries to tease the others.. tryin 2 make fun of dem.. wat will be or rather shd be the reaction wen u r at the receivin end of the teaser is a big ?.. most pple includin me jus giggle or react as if we didnt hear nythin.. or we try to reverse tease(not strip tease u morons..)..
but i found dis xceptional trait among ma frnds(born on the 26th of august).. wat they do is they make a stupid comment n totally divert the discussion from the topic..thts wat is basically the meanin of the word digression.. the worst part is every1 follows up on the new issue at hand.. but wen i pinpointed dis trait of theirs.. i got all sort of reactions from dem.. lemme c hw u divert the topic nw...

"Look at your young men fighting
Look at your women crying
Look at your young men dying
The way they've always done before


Look at the hate we're breeding
Look at the fear we're feeding
Look at the lives we're leading
The way we've always done before

Look at the shoes your filling
Look at the blood we're spilling
Look at the world we're killing
The way we've always done before

Look in the doubt we've wallowed
Look at the leaders we've followed
Look at the lies we've swallowed
And I don't want to hear no more"

-civil war(GNR)

futball n india...

i started seein football wen i was in 6th.. tht tyme i knew only the great players like beckham giggs owen bergkamp cantona.. lack of resources n innocence.. continued watchin till 8th until disaster struck chennai.. they introduced the idea of pay channels n set top boxes.. the local cable is useless.. jus a showcase of the local channels.. so it was a total cut from everythin or wateva i felt kool.. futball eng music eng movies.. the worst part of the whole setup was all these pay channels were not viewable in the major cities viz chennai mumbai delhi kolkata.. later i came 2 know tht the other cities no longer had this monstrocity.. it was only chennai nw.. its all political.. there jus seems 2 be no logic among the responsible policy makers in our country.. i accept tht majority of the indian population resides in the villages.. but majority of the population who watch espn star discovery reside only in the cities.. dey were literally denyin the best or sensible students in our country the extra knowledge.. wat could have happened wen pple already havin the exposure of cities also get the extra edge tht we were denied... surely sumthin magical or catastrophical i guess..
forget all that.. those channels r still not available in chennai.. u need tht damn set top box to view all those..
eventually i came 2 know abt ma interests.. the point is try a hand in everythin to truly understand urself.. free..

"wen the future's architectured
by a carnival of idiots on show
u better lie low..

if u love me
wont u lemme know??
-violet hill(coldplay)"

football....

after wat happened yesterday.. hw do u not expect me 2 write on ma fav sport.. first of all any sport is jus abt passion.. n passion 2 football exceeds everythin else.. being an indian i find maself awkward bcoz of the sole reason tht i dont like cricket tht much.. india has a gr8 chance of winnin the cric world cup dis tyme.. whereas in football as russell used 2 say.. we jus have to wait years n years 2 see whether india will make it 2 the world cup.. from the very beginning cricket was neva ma choice.. used 2 watch football f1 basketball hockey.. but not tht much cric.. basically i feel the reason is
1. its tooooooooooo long
2. its a lazy man's game

maybe 20-20 can change ma 1st reason.. but surely not the 2nd.. n yea ipl is gud.. atleast i fancy the fact tht i get to support a club.. but besides tht sorry cric is all wat i have 2 say..

cummin bck 2 futball.. every1 talks abt attacking n glamorous football.. technically proper futball.. as f365 put it.. technically proper futball can neither create the most interestin games nor create many goals.. as it requires not only attack but also defence.. n goals cannot always come by sparks of brilliance.. they come majority due 2 defensive errors.. after all to err is to human..

am a liverpool supporter as of now.. well thts a long story.. n will keep on talkin on futball n music.. so later dudes n dudettes..

"I dont think you trust
in my self righteous suicide
I cry when angels deserve to die"
- chopsuey(system of a down)

1/x...

wat do we all do wen we meet sum1 new?? or meet a childhood frnd after a very long tyme not knowin hw dis cruel world would have changed dem..

we try 2 analyse dem..
so all of us dumb m****f****** do a thingi known as reciprocation(wat i call it)..
we jus try to hide our true self n try 2 be sum1 who we cant be.. n we really suck at tryin 2 be sum1 else.. trust me*... so y the damn try.. jus be urself.. coz we know tht we r kool...

"I'm trying to be somebody
I'm not trying to be somebody else
This life is mine i'm living
Don't you know me? I wont ever let you down"
-be sumbody(3 doors down)

irony sarcasm n bulb..

did quite a bit of research into dis.. sarcasm is jus part of a bigger term called irony.. u know.. the java of the indonesia.. the yamuna of the ganges.. free.. also wen we say sarcasm is everywhere.. we actually mean irony.. coz sarcasm has the big job of hurtin others.. sarcasm can neva be in the support of 1's statement.. tht is irony..
lemme giv u an eg..
machi we spent the perfect saturday mornin by seein delhi 6..
nw tht is irony..
we shd all thank vishvak 4 givin such a gr8 idea..
nw tht is sarcasm..
n vishvak expected tht the movie would be gud based on its songs..
nw tht is bulb..
i hope evry1s all clear here..

"Then it comes to be that the soothing light
At the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train comin your way"
-no leaf clover(metallica)

P.S- yeah me too ponderin on this lyrics..

buuullllbbuuuuuuu..........

thts how u pronounce it.. the simple word bulb which has a complex meanin among chennaites.. all chennaites must have used it in their skool.. its jus too gud to resist.. n the way u pronounce it to tease ur frnds.. well u get such a satisfaction which u cant describe in words.. nw lets analyse this..

wen sum1 makes a statement or a very logical guess of an event.. n suppose tht it doesnt happen.. others r free to pronounce d magical word.. lets talk technical.. if the probability of an event is say almost 1 (ie) it is a soor event.. wen i am so confident tht this event will happen, i obviously will predict the occurence of the evnt.. n may say it publicly to ma frnds.. but suppose due to technical difficulties, the evnt does not occur.. then all ur frnds can give u a buullbuuu..

its origin is unknown but the reason for its existence is quite clear.. its jus a way of mocking some1's wrong guess abt sumthin.. we jus get a sort of a happy feeling tht some1's wrong..
as quoted in the movie thankyou 4 smokin " u dont have to prove tht u r rite.. u jus have to prove tht the other is wrong"

the point of this post was not abt xplanin the bulb concept.. i actually intended to find the difference between bulb sarcasm n irony.. will write it in ma next post.. gimme a break..


P.S- i would lik 2 thank ma sis 4 lettin me understandin dis complex algorithm.. btw shes in 10th..

"I guess that's why it's raining diamonds, sweet happiness in tears
Crying heaven shed your diamonds, diamonds for tears "
- diamonds 4 tears(POTF)

a game of minesweeper..

well as u all know am a big fan of the game minesweeper.. am so much addicted to it tht i play the game a min of 20 times /day.. xperience is a teacher n i have learned quite a few from the game.. would like to share it with u all..

first ma basic aim was to finish the game 3 times from 5.. wen tht was done.. i came 2 know tht j.k rowling..yes the j.k rowling.. is also a big fan of minesweeper(courtesy jkrowling.com) n she found dis game as a substitute 2 smokin.. her best tyme in expert level was 99 secs. so tht was ma next target.. weneva i sat down n tried to beat her record.. it didnt happen.. i sucked big tyme.. but eventually i did it.. it actually happened without notice.. i was playin jus lik tht talkin wit ma roomie.. i finished the game n continued talkin.. after tht i noticed tht i had finished it in 97 secs.. the point is wen we try towards sumthin we may not get it.. but if we truly deserve it, we'll eventually get it.. toyota.. the game actually raised ma ego.. nw dont give ego a fancy name called confidence.. call it ego call it confidence.. its all the same damn thing.. all of those who r probably thinkin tht am nuts.. well cmon guys.. where will we be without our ego?? the gr8 federer may well have high confidence.. but wen he is losin to nadal..ego is the only thing tht keeps him goin.. u r gud at sumthin.. ur ego increases.. so wat i feel is ego is not bad.. it is sumthin we all shd use productively..

"How can I be lost?
If I've got nowhere to go
And how can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive? "
-unforgiven 3(metallica)

contradictions n sarcasm..

hav seen many pple around me who tend to contradict demself.. forget dem.. take me as an example..

i feel ive lived ma whole damn lyfe tryin not 2 contradict maself.. tryin 2 have a clear thinkin.. n dont pretend as if u havent done it.. we all thrive on it.. atleast wen i feel i contradict maself.. i get the feel tht am thinkin stright fwd nw..free..

forgot abt sarcasm.. not gettin the words to xplain dis 1.. will tell abt this later wen sarcasm strikes me..

"ashtrays filled with the fruits of our transgression

here and there sarcasm overflows.."

-ultimate fling(poets of the fall)

re:music..

i basically luk 4 3 things in any music..

the bg music

vocals

lyrics

the most influential part (i feel) is the lyrics.. thts y have bcum a gr8 fan of poets of fall..marko thala free..

wen i say bgm.. i mean the guitar n the drums.. if its guitar i reckon slash(gnr) n drums lars(metallica) as the best.. as a habit am plannin to write a few words of any song which influence me tht day in ma posts.. so dont mind.. n guys am not contradictin ma intro.. will start tht habit rite nw..

"theres a tyme 2 live n a tyme to die

its time to meet the maker

theres a tyme 2 live but isnt it strange

as soon as we're born we're dying.."
-the clairvoyant(iron maiden)

muzic..

thot of writin abt wat i do daily.. first of all.. pple who dont like music.. if such pple exist..den theres no point in existing.. better hang urself.. music is nythin wat is pleasin to ur ears...if u ask me.. so its totally personal of wat type of music u like.. n it is sumthin which shdnt be forced.. but i suggest every1 to try out diff genres.. coz u neva know wat type of music u like... 1 more thing tht puzzles me more is the fact tht a lot of pple dont listen to eng music.. or wat i reckon to b known as eng music.. the shits cool n gr8.. as i said every1 shd giv it a try.. i didnt like death metal at the first luk.. but am startin 2 like it.. am not disparaging indian music.. in fact rahman is thalaivar.. always felt tamil music outclassed hindi music.. thts mainly bcoz of 2 pple.. rahman n ilayaraja(his whole family).. besides hindi music is tilted more towards dancing tones.. all the northies r probably ready 2 kill me.. so i'll tell wat i like abt hindi music.. there r a hell lot of albums cummin out in hindi which i feel is very less in tamil.. courtesy of ma roomie raghu.. got introduced to a lot of albums n liked dem too..n i fuckin hate all the remixes which happen in hindi which ruin the song coz the pple who do all these remixes have no taste n creativity.. all of them who get involved in music by tryin 2 form bands n stuff.. well guys u need to be more versatile in ur style.. listen 2 all genres there is.. maybe thts the reason y i didnt take it up maself..free..

soliloqhy...

well maybe i over did it.. on the last topic.. sorry soin... every damn thing is welcum..

jus wen am writin dis.. i feel like am doin a sheldon cooper here... guys help me out.. coz u know thts impossible... for those of u not gettin this at all..

lemme xplain.. it like dis y'll.. u talk 2 youself..u counterargue with ur own views... ur ultimate aim is 2 win over urself in argument.. a parallel perpendicular.. i need a break...

netha...

well.. to start off..as eminem(jus crops out) would put it words r a mo**********... they can degrade.. well they can upgrade too.. dis was a thot from a faraway frnd... he had done a documentary n told me 2 spread d word.. so here it goes.. if u go n ask any1 studyin in school abt wat they would want 2 bcum wen they grow up.. u mite hear words like engineer doctor teacher or wateva tht is attractive.. well if u find sum1 who may tell tht he/she(no discrimination here) wants to bcum a politician, den lemme know.. n this has nothin 2 do with the title bigbang.. 4 all those ponderers... jus kept it coz of bigbang theory.. now toyota... y is every1 of us sick of politics.. thts sumthin we all have to think abt.. i jus came across a news last week tht a faculty member of iit kanpur joined bjp.. except 4 a few all were against it as if its socially wrong or somethin.. if it wasnt 4 ma orthodoxical bckgnd.. i w ould hav surely taken politics.. yesterday.. chidambaram escapin from a shoe.. am like wats happenin in dis f****** country.. havin a little knowledge abt chidambaram.. knowin wat sort of a guy he is.. its utter stupidity.. y blame him.. hes jus 1 fish in the dirty pond...its upto us to chlorinate the water...wokie.. i wont be using more metaphors...

intro...

well.. thot might start off with an intro...

3 things abt me:

music lover

sports fan

stray thoughts...

the first 2 r irrelevent here although those instincts may crop up all the tyme..

well the third.. have alot of things goin in ma mind.. vishvak suggested me 2 try this out..

anyways its 4 in the mornin.. kool weather.. maybe thts wat is provokin me to do dis piece of crap..

i'll be clear from the start.. am not here 2 write poems n showcase dem 2 the girls.. am here to talk abt sum serious shit.. somethin thts bothering me all nightmare long.. gosh.. already.. n ya i get it.. pple knowin me may find it hard 2 imagine.. am not jokin.. so if all out dere wanna help me out.. u can start by wipin tht bloody smirk off ur faces n start commenting on ma blog..