Wednesday, October 21, 2009

the metal paradox

Its been very long that i wrote a post on music.. but this upcoming post wont amuse the readers who dont dig into metal music.. so to do justice i present u with my gtalk status for the past 2 days..
""maiden is god" are the words of a non-satanic atheist.."
for those who dont understand what maiden is.. Iron maiden is a legendary music band in the heavy metal genre.. recently i've been totally addicted to their songs.. when i updated this as my status.. there started a conversation between me and another fellow metal fan..
he asked me whether this was a paradox.. so is this a paradox?? i replied "maybe.. its complicated.."
now, the genres death metal and norwegian black metal are based on satanism.. although iron maiden are not totally satanic.. some of their songs are.. coming to the statement.. it literally means "a band which worships satan is god".. or rather.. "satan is god".. theoretically, satan is totally evil and god is totally pure/good.. but the world we live in has good and bad in it.. although good and bad are relativistic.. subjecting a person to physical torture/harm(*1*) is bad if u ask me..its not that the bad guys worship satan and the good guys worship god.. the bad guys also worship god..(*2*) people have questions such as "if god exists, then y do all the bad things happen".. well i believe the think which we call god is really a hybrid of the theoretical satan
and the theoretical god.. it is this GOTAN who we call god.. gotan is assigned to do one job.. to maintain the balance between good and bad.. too much good is bad.. too much bad is also bad..

*1*- only after implementing the physical stress, u can apply the psychological,sexual and other kinds of stress.. so i guess this is primary..
*2*- good guys worshipping satan are hard to find.. i'll let u know wen i find out

P.S:- any fans of dragonball-z here??

Coming to the music part which was the main reason for this post.. the following should be a treat for the metalheads.. not my creation.. found it sumwhere.. so just sharing.. it jus describes the various metal genres..

HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers, and bones the princess.

POWER METAL:The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

THRASH METAL:The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.

DEATH METAL:The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL:The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

DOOM METAL:The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon, and thinks he could never beat him. He gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragons eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

GOTHIC METAL:The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duet by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly the dragon swallows the flute and accidently scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell for all eternity.

PROGRESSIVE METAL:The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives at the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the HEAVY METAL protagonist.

GLAM METAL:The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.

NU METAL:The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

22 comments:

vishal jindal said...

satan is not necessarily evil,wat i suppose..and this GOTAN concept to me seems even more weird than the concept of god.. m sorry if m a bit rude bt my senses cudn make much out of the *1* statement of urs..
n that description of metal genres..
nice pick...:)
and pitty the progressive metal protagonist..lol

soin said...

that norway guy in headbangers.. when the thin interviewer asks what inspired u.. after hours he will just say satan..and drink.. waatha gethu..

new age metal:The protagonist comes showing the devils horn and stuff.by now the dragon is quite old and weak.as he goes near it will die and he will claim he is great.(i mean lp gc and all)..free

gils said...

hi5 stuff opiceer...only attendance

Vishnu said...

@vishal.. satan has some good qualities?? can u sight a few examples.. and i wanted to introduce this concept.. this may be an another step in understanding god.. forget abt the *1*.. jus digressing from the topic..

@soin.. he was over gethu.. lol.. but they dont belong to metal at all.. plz dont insult metal.. maybe u can call them the pseudo metal..

Vishnu said...

@ gils.. hi5 stuff lam illa.. nan teacher nu vechukonga.. attendance potta pathadhu.. teacher kekara questionukku answrum sollanum..

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vishal jindal said...

@ vishnu
oh yes why not?? may have many,may have none.. now u may suppose it synonymous with evil but it is not...every religion in its own whims has a different concept of satan...but basically it is the one who did nt blindly admit to or didn bow before the commands of god..refer to any religion- islam, hinduism, christianity- its very clear bt dis god thing has always granted us utter blindness to see anything..

Priya Vinay said...

The GOTAN concept makes a lot of sense to me vish. Gr8 thinking...

The descriptions made a good read :)

Vishnu said...

@ rsv.. its an honour..

@vishal.. i dunno abt wat every religion thinks of satan.. i jus apprehend it to be evil.. and i try to expose the ugly face of god.. lol.. u r right with the utter blindness thing..

@priya.. ooh.. thanks a lot..

evanescentthoughts said...

Sorry not a metal fan :P I like pop and rock more

HaRy!! said...

hmm Namalaku metal na konjam konjam OK.... remember me telling there s gonna b a concert here in UK and mite go for it...Not sure if there is going to be one in Wembley...ana iruntha me going for this Iron maiden concert for sure!! not kadupu ethifying yu bro :D !! ...well yeah i like Metallica and System of a down(do yu like this band?).. oh yeah their lyrics do sound bit of satanic dont they!! .kalaku kalaku...

Shruti said...

Vishnu, will come back 2 read the post,
Visit my profile :)
Something is waiting for you!

Shalini said...

Yup..GOTAN is practical...there is no pure black or pure white...its always grey.

The thing on metal genres was awesome! LOL...\m/

buckingfastard said...

hehe...felt like u r writing a 'dummy's guide 2 metal'...u cant teach metal...u can only experience it!!!

Vishnu said...

@avada.. thats okie.. but u could hav commented on the gotan concept..
do u feel its sumthin u dont wanna analyse??

@hary.. nanagalum uk varom sir.. n yeah.. soad theriyamaya.. gethu band sir.. their bassist is one range guy.. his name is shavo odadjian..

@shruti.. wokie.. thanks for the awards..

@shalini.. happy that it makes sense to u.. cmon we like black.. lol..

@buckingfastard.. u shd see this metal documentary called headbanger's journey.. now thts a metal guide for dummies.. even if u teach.. u hav to like it to experience it..

Srivats said...

//GOTAN who we call god//

LOLs nice concept by the way, I would totally buy it :)

Thats quite a information about Metals. and hey almost forgot, Thanks a lot for the muesuem information, I would go there next time I visit Amsterdam :)

ηανєєη said...

the more the metal .. less am into it ... though few numbers prove to be exceptions .. but overall am pop/rock kinda person

loved the way u described various kind of metals though ..keep it up!!

Vishnu said...

@ srivats.. thanks a lot.. am glad tht u agree with the concept..

@naveen.. thts metal.. it doesnt matter whether u like it or not.. but it is there u can feel it only at the appropriate time.. thanks for commenting..

Insignia said...

When Iron Maiden came down to Bangalore a couple of years ago, the crowd went crazy!!

I really liked the description of different metal genres here.

Neha said...

hmmm quite informative...I am not a metal fan, but I do listen to few random numbers...

Vishnu said...

@ insignia.. ya i know.. i saw the concert.. its meant to go crazy..
thanks.. n do u listen to metal??

@ neha.. gotcha.. time may come wen u start liking it.. after tht there's no stopping..

Insignia said...

I do listen to metal sometimes. But not crazy about them :-)